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Betty & Wilma
Actually I was looking for separate pictures but this is the best one I could find. I've always liked redheads, which
gives Wilma an edge, but there's something about her that just turns me off. I think it's her shrill voice. Anyway Betty is...well,
she's a Betty. Even though seeing Rosie O'Donnell in her clothes just skeeves me out. *blah*
Wendy From Superfriends
Wendy wasn't intimidated at all by hanging out with Superman and Wonder Woman. And she was secure enough that she could
hang out with scrawny Marvin and his stupid dog without making him feel like a dipshit. What did she see in that guy anyway?
I hope they weren't dating or anything. But then again, it did kind of give hope to dipshits everywhere. Wensy was the most
stylin' one in the entire Hall of Justice but also, unfortunately, the only one not running around in her underwear.
Jane Jetson
Jane was so hot. She deserved better than George.
Tripping The Rift
My friend Gary told me to post this one, even though I've never seen the cartoon and I don't know what her name is, yeah,
this ink works for her. Yow.
Tinkerbell
I don't know what it is about Tinkerbell. The outfit is really hot, and she can grant wishes and stuff, but it's really
hot that she doesn't talk too loud.
Starfire
Starfire is one of those that's been drawn so many times by so many different people that it's hard to really say
about her. I remember when George Perez used to pencil The New Teen Titans back in the 80's, and Starfire was always major
hot, I've never had any artistic talent but I think there must be something sensual about drawing a woman's body. That's it
for me, I'm taking a class now...
Tank Girl
A hot bisexual friend of mine suggested that Tank Girl was hot. She's got all the requirements of being hot, but when
I look at pictures of her I can't help thinking that she is probably way hotter to bisexual girls than to divorced 40 year
old single dads.
Kim Possible
Dude emailed me this picture, and I have to agree that Kim is a hotty.
Black Widow
She's Russian so she's probably crazy and will stab you in your sleep, and if you think that's buying into Russian stereotypes,
keep in mind that she makes her living by stabbing people in their sleep. But she is hot.
Black Mamba
She's one-third of Bad Girls, Inc. She's hot, and she handles snakes. Chicks holding snakes are always hots. Unless they're
in a Pentecostal church in the Appalachians. Don't ask me how I know that.
Marge Simpson
Anyone who says they've never checked out Marge...well, they're just lying
Jessica Rabbit
Because you know what they say about rabbits
Penelope Pitstop
When a chick seems all helpless and needy it somehow makes her more hot, or anyway it does at first, until you realize
what a pain in the ass it is. But Penelope Pitstop was the Woman's Champion in every competetive sport that there was, which
I'm assuming includes gymnastics.
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Daphne
That's What I'm Talking About. Daphne rocks. I mean, Sarah Michelle Gellar is awesome, but she can't touch the pen-and-ink
Daphne.
Jeannie
Red hair, a harem costume and magic powers. I don't remember ever seeing her navel but damn.
Jayna Of The Wonder Twins
Jayna started off on the Superfriends with several strikes against her, the first of which being that she bumped Wendy
from the show. And even though I was brought up to value other races and cultures, I still found the purple skin and pointy
ears a bit disconcerting, which is nothing compared to that freaky hairstyle. But the absolute worst thing about Jayna was
that for her powers to ever work she had to be near her sexually-indeterminate sibling. That's a bit much to ask a guy to
put up with, even for a shape like that.
Catwoman
Who doesn't love Catwoman? She's a kitten with a whip. Even if that movie with Halle Berry sucked and her costume looked
stupid, it'll take more than that to kill Catwoman.
Jasmine
OK I knew this really really hot Indian chick that I used to work with, and then she got to be kind of my boss which
was actually pretty cool because I got to see her all the time and talk to her on the phone, even though now that I don't
work with her she never calls me back. That kind of sucks, and it totally has nothing to do with Jasmine especially since
Jasmine isn't even Indian, she's like Arabic or something. I don't know. But it's totally what I think about when I see Jasmine.
Lois Griffin
The guy on the radio show I listen to says Lois Griffin is the hottest cartoon ever. Or something like that. I never
watched this show but she looks pretty good to me.
Betty Boop
Once my friend Kevin's grandpa died and I went to help him move some of his old stuff, and there was this great big picture
of his grandmother from like 1930, and she was so hot in that picture that it was hard to actually talk to the woman in front
of me who seemed to be about 175 years old. And that's kind of how I think of Betty Boop. I mean, I know she's hot, I
can see how hot she is, but I can't get past thinking that she's so 1920's, she's probably an old woman by now. But I will
concede that she's hot.
Hawkgirl
When I was in 11th grade there was this group called Loverboy and they had a song called Hot Girls In Love
which, in 1983, totally rocked. But for some reason I used to think they were singing Hawk Girls In Love, which takes
on a whole new meaning now when I watch Justice League. Because Shayera is totally hot. Especially since she gets
to wear these skin-tight work out clothes and not the hawk-mask that she wore for the first few years, before Thanagar tried
to invade the Earth and it was revealed that she was a spy sent to.....nevermind. She's hot.
Channon Yarrow
Tall, leggy, blonde. She's hot. And tough. And hotter because she's tough.
Yelena Rossini
Dark hair, pretty figure, and quick-witted (and probably bisexual)
Hello, Nurse!
She'll make you Yakko, Wakko, and....Dot...
Trixie
I know the name makes her sound like a hooker, but Trixie was always there and always supportive of Speed, and I was
reminded of her today when looking at a picture of Christina Ricci wearing a bikini.
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Teenage Pebbles
I know she's probably only like 16, which is only slightly less creepy than the fact that she's a cartoon, but when I
was like 10 or 11 I couldn't wait til Saturday morning. The only thing was, like, to go out with her at all you'd have to
put up with her dad and his neighbors and everything, and it would have just sucked. And you know if Fred doesn't like you,
he's going to come up with some big scheme to keep you away, or have the Great Gazoo turn you into a clam or something. Almost
not worth it. Almost.
Sabrina
Not as hot as Melissa Joan Hart, but still. I mean, forget Samantha Vs. Jeannie, the real debate was Sabrina Vs. Jeannie
(the redheaded cartoon one).
Wonder Woman
She looks great. But that magic lasso makes you tell the truth all the freakin' time. Bummer.
Cinderella
OK, Snow White was hot, but you just know when you went to pick her up there would be all these little obnoxious dwarves.
And did you ever fight one of those guys? Most of them are built like little bricks. Seven of them would be sure to kick your
ass. And yeah I think Sleeping Beauty was actually a little hotter than Cinderella, but I would always be afraid she would
fall aasleep while I was talking to her. WIth Cinderella, all you have to deal with is an unreasonably early curfew.
Supergirl
Supergirl is totally hot and this isn't even the best picture of her. But what I wonder about is like what does it feel
like to touch her, because like one of the best things about normal girls is that they're so soft. But does Supergirl feel
soft when you touch her? I'm thinking she would, even though bullets bounce off her. Although I don't know how, or why, that
would be. My head hurts to think about it.
Jimmy Neutron's Mom
....has got it going on. I know the hair needs work, and you can't really tell anything from that outfit, but that's
part of the attraction. The mystery. She's so domestic and so caring. Plus, like most cartoon parents, she's not all that
bright.
Germaine
The same friend who suggested Tank Girl suggested this one to me. I have to say that she doesn't really do it for me.
Maybe it's the eyes. Maybe it's the anorexic, self-loathing, coffee-house vibe I get from her. But she does have a guitar,
and she at least gets points for that
Giganta
Giganta is hot. I'm thinking that someone who grows to be 50 feet tall would want to wear pants, though. Unless part
of her power is scaring all the heros with the sight of her gigantic hoohah
The Asp
Rosalie sent me this one....I don't know who she is, but any woman in a toga is ok with me....
Diamondback
She's got a great body and blue hair. Not a combination you see every day.
Mary Jane Watson-Parker
Well, she's got red hair, which is always hot. Plus, she's just so freakin' hot!!!
Rogue
Sure, she'll suck your mind out and leave you an empty, lifeless shell of a man....but, really, what woman doesn't, eventually?
Birdgirl
Birdgirl's got it all. The red hair, the smoky voice, she's kind of clumsy in an endearing way, and the way they draw
her....well, just everything. She's on Adult Swim, too. Get it? Adult swim? Hubba Hubba.
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